Saturday, January 30, 2010

How last night would have gone, if life was a movie

Last night I went to a perogie dinner with some friends (L, D and M). It was quite delicious and I (and probably everyone else) ate way too much--but that's what happens at all you can eat dinners and sometimes you have to accept it. We left the church where it was held around 8:30 p.m. with no definite plans for what to do with the rest of the night. One friend (D) needed to be home by 10:00 p.m. as her mother was in town for a visit. Earlier in the evening there had been some discussion around bubble tea, and where were good places to get it in Edmonton. This conversation sparked a craving for said refreshment and lead to a search after dinner for a place to pick some up. We stopped at the T & T Grocery store on our way back downtown in the hopes they might supply us with the needed fix, but alas, they did not. Once we were back in the car the four of us mused what might happen on our search for bubble tea if we were in a movie. Our adventure concluded rather uneventfully (but satisfactorily), which doesn't make for a very interesting blog post, so I thought I'd write the movie version instead.

T & T Grocery store
Disappointed by the lack of bubble tea at T & T, we inquire with the cashier to see if she knows of any good places to get the drink. After a few seconds of silence she responds that she'd been to this place...once...a long time ago. It had been the best bubble tea she'd ever tasted...but she wasn't sure if it was there anymore. The store had been in "that" part of town and it was hard to spot. It blended in with the rest of the buildings, you had to know where you were going to find it. The cashier gave us a vague set of directions and a description of the sign then wished us luck on our quest. We pile back into L's car and drive off into the night.

[cut scene]

Outside D's apartment
D's mother arrives and buzzes up to her daughter's apartment. She checks her watch, wondering where her daughter is, she digs her cell phone out from her purse.

[cut scene]

In L's car, "that" part of town
D's tells her mother that she's on her way, we're just going to pick up some bubble tea, and she'll be home in a couple of minutes. L slows the car and locks the doors; this part of town is not one of the more savoury areas. All of us press our faces to the car windows keeping our eyes peeled for the mystical bubble tea restaurant, but don't notice any lights on in any of the stores we pass. After a couple of minutes one of us shouts that she thinks she can see it. L pulls the car over at the indicated spot and we all stare out of the front windshield. There's a sign in the window, but none of us can read it from the car. I volunteer to get out and see what it says, then I grab my mittens and slip out of the car. The store has moved. The message gives the address for the new location in a much nicer part of town. I move to return to the car, but as I do, I notice four guys wearing huge parkas approach.

[cut scene]

Outside D's apartment
D's mother is still waiting. She checks her watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. People pass by her on the sidewalk, but none of them are her daughter. Apparently the bubble tea is taking a little longer than expected.

[cut scene]

In "that" part of town, where the bubble tea restaurant used to be
I'm stuck outside the car, as the guys approach me. "Are you David's substitute?" one of the guys says. David? I peer into the car and wonder what I should do. I have no idea. I'm a library student, I don't sub for David in the sketchy parts of town. All four guys tower over me, and there's no way I could make it to the car, and have L speed off before these guys pulled out the guns I was pretty sure they’re packing. A second, maybe two pass without me saying anything. "Here," says the guy closest to me. He shoves a brown paper package into my hands and the four guys disappear as quickly as they appeared. The package doesn't weigh much. I run the five steps to the car and jump in. Everyone is silent.

[cut scene]

Outside D's apartment
D's mother sips on her coffee bought from the shop down the street. It's not very good, but it's hot, which helps since the night is cold. She wraps both hands around the paper cup to help absorb the heat. Where on earth is her daughter?

[cut scene]

In L's car, driving out of "that" part of town
The package is still sitting on my lap, and there is now a great deal being said about it. We quickly agree that it would be better not to look and see what’s inside--in this case, ignorance seems the safest option. We also agree we shouldn't keep the package. What causes a great deal of consternation is what to do with it. L doesn't want to return to "that" part of town, while M thinks we should turn it into the police, and D wants to chuck the thing out the window as we drive through town. As we’re stopped at a light D takes matters into her own hands. She grabs the package off my lap opens her door and tosses it out onto the street. The light changes and L drives on.

[cut scene]

Outside D’s apartment
D’s mother grips her coffee cup extra hard as a man, who by look and smell appears to be homeless approaches her. D’s going to get a severe talking to when she finally returns home.

[cut scene]

In L’s car, in a better part of town, approaching the new bubble tea restaurant

We’re all silent again, but it’s safe to say that we’re still thinking about what was in the package. I am both relieved we don’t have it any more and terrified that someone will come looking for it. We turn down the street heading to where the new bubble tea establishment is supposed to be. It is far less scary than the other part of town. Some of the stores are still open and there’s no sign of four large men in parkas. I cross my fingers hoping we’ll be able to pick up our drinks without incident then get D home to her mother who must be wondering where we are. L slows and parks in front of the restaurant. We sigh in perfect synchronization.

[cut scene]

Outside D’s apartment
D’s mother smiles politely at the homeless man in front of her. He is explaining to her the importance of proper oral hygiene. He carries both a toothbrush and a roll of dental floss where ever he goes. She keeps an eye on the people that pass, trying to spot her daughter.

[cut scene]

Inside the bubble tea restaurant, waiting for their orders
We’re all smiling. We’re home free and we’re about to enjoy the treat we risked our lives to get, when four different guys wearing parkas walk in the restaurant. I look at the others. We all have the same, scared bug-eyed expression: what are we going to do now? The tallest of the guys scans the restaurant then walks over to us and says, “You subbing for David?” Suddenly I really don’t want bubble tea any more—more than anything in the world I want to get back into L’s car and get out of here. M manages to speak first, “David? We don’t know a David,” then she walks out the restaurant. I look at the remaining of my two friends, without a word or a nod we do the same. My heart is pounding.

[cut scene]

Outside D’s apartment
Somehow D’s mother finds herself lecturing the homeless man on proper nutrition. Sure, he takes care of his teeth and that’s important, but what about the rest of his body? He needs to get more fresh produce, something she realizes is probably difficult considering he is homeless.

[cut scene]

Back in L’s car, driving (fast) away from the bubble tea restaurant

Panic fills the car. L is weaving around traffic while D and I keep a watch out of the back window. It’s dark and we have no idea what kind of car the four men might be driving. We don’t think we’re being followed, but we don’t feel comfortable enough to sit back and relax the rest of the way home. After a little while, L turns on the radio to cut the silence. I can’t pay attention enough to understand what we’re listening too, it doesn’t matter, as long as we’re not being followed. We cross the bridge heading back to the downtown. We should reach D’s apartment soon. Her mother’s been waiting a while.

[cut scene]

Outside D’s apartment
The homeless man, Jack, thanks D’s mother for the pleasant talk and says goodnight. D’s mother looks at her watch, it’s almost 11:00 p.m. Where is her daughter? A car pulls up in front of her and her daughter pops out. She seems a little out of breath for having been riding around in a car. “So where’s the bubble tea?” D’s mother asks.

Ciao,

Andrea

1 comment:

Lisa said...

That. Is. So Awesome.

You're my hero.

I vote for elevator muzak during the scenes with D's mom.

And I'm link to this from my blog. It's just too good not to!